Tuesday

Masuku

The 'masuku' is an optimistic-looking act of God that grows freely across tropical Africa - on an evergreen tree of unisexual flower, and other things naturalists like to say. Mel is a delightful lady in glasses we met at a book-club once, who terrifies even us, somewhat, with her creative intensity, and who sees sunsets on these orange beasts. Without further ado...


The brown fruit was piled in bucketfuls outside the farm gate. A third vehicle passed by, leaving a cloud of red dust, and as Chela waited she wondered whether she would reach the market in time to sell. She sucked on the large seeds, and stared at the yellow pulp of the sweet wild fruit as she split open the next golden yellow ball.
The baby moved on her back. He had been feverish in the night and now slept fitfully, relieved only by his mother’s rhythmic rocking.
The familiar rattle of the neighbouring farm’s old van sounded from a kilometer away and Chela sat up hopefully. As long as the milk urns left a little space for her to sit, she’d be able to put her harvest into the back and her wait would be over. Kelvin would not leave her by the roadside unless there really was no room. The van slowed down as it approached, its faded blue paint blending perfectly with the early morning sky.
‘Mama, let’s go.’ Kelvin jumped out of the van dragging with him a large paper box. ‘I found this for you. All this fruit will go inside.’
He began shovelling the masuku into the box with his hands and in a few minutes, Chela helped him lift the large box into the back of the van. She climbed in to join the other farm-workers, as the van headed for the small town market.
Less than an hour later the blue van drove off the road, downhill to the central bus stop and the main market place in Kabwe. A group of marketers rushed to meet the van with various containers, making it difficult for Chela to remove her load. She sold a few packets of the fruit in twists of old newspaper, as Kelvin poured the farm milk out through a funnel to serve his customers. The activity round the van subsided; with the help of her friends from the vegetable section, Chela balanced the large box on her head. She stopped only to leave a bagful of fruit with Kelvin, and then made her way to where she stared a stall with her aunt.
As she prepared the small pieces of fruit for sale, her aunt chatted nervously about the latest problem to befall the vegetable section. The market sellers had been rounded up the day before and told that  there would be new rental prices for their stands.
It was always the same, Chela thought to herself. Every three or four months the market management would come round and say how they, the sellers, had to pay for this and pay for that, all these brand new charges from the government - but nothing in the market ever got better. The drains were always blocked with rubbish and the council police continued to harass the women for free produce, even though they paid their daily levy. She fingered the few brown notes she had and hoped that today would bring at least enough to get a tonic for her baby’s cough.
She watched the newspaper sellers dart amongst the crowd across the street, and recalled the headlines that had changed her life forever. The bus tragedy… “Horrific,” the newspapers had called it. She’d lost her family in that fateful accident. The bus had been washed off the highway and took every single passenger in it to their watery grave. Even in the rising heat of midday, Chela felt a cold shiver run through her slim shoulders, and unconsciously she gently squeezed the right foot of her four-month old baby. A new generation. Her parents and younger sisters had been coming back from a funeral when they met their death in the accident. Her difficult pregnancy had been the only thing that spared her the journey.
Her mother’s and father’s families gathered together over the next week. A mass burial was necessary as white-coated local hospital officials warned they didn’t have the capacity to hold over a hundred bodies for any length of time. Bewildered and out of place in the crowded council hall, where the recovered bodies were laid out only for identification and nothing more, they joined other families in filling out  all the endless, necessary forms. Both families tried to spare Chela more trials as she mourned.
Joshua had left the farm the same day news arrived of the accident, deserting her and the unborn child. By the time her relatives had gathered for the funeral, the issue of a possible marriage, and a father for her child, was pushed far into the background. She’d moved back into the family house with a cousin – a week after the burial, she gave birth to her son.
Her cousin had done everything she could, but after a month she had to go back to the village and her own home. Chela limped slowly back to health, and once she was back on her feet she was back in the market, selling with her aunt.
A little cry indicated that Joel was ready to feed. She slung him around from her back and suckled the little boy, unrelenting in inviting customers to her small stall. No time for memories now.
All the farm workers had lots. Most of them grew maize, but not having a man to help concentrated Chela’s efforts on nurturing the masuku trees that dotted the farmland and beyond. Every day, Chela nurtured the wild trees, cutting back the dead wood and rescuing the seedlings from the harsh elements of the dry season…

The branch manager swung out of the office doors and the cashiers sat up expectantly behind their booths.
‘Ladies, lots of work to do this morning. Doors open!’ he called over his shoulder at the guard at the front.
He stood six feet tall and he was immaculately dressed as usual. It was general knowledge in the banking community that he was one of the most sought after bachelors in town. His customary morning greeting over, he moved back into his office and closed the door gently behind him. Investment and saving had been his business for the last seven years, and with a lot of hard work he had managed to avoid some bad risks, easing his climb quickly up the promotion ladder.
The buzzer rang, and the grey-haired woman stepped comfortably into his office.
‘Too many pretty girls out there,’ she laughed and continued. ‘I’m not staying long.’
The visitor reached into her large bag and drew out a flask.
‘I just wanted you to have a taste of the first fruits of the season.’
Joel knew what it was. All his senses imagined and anticipated the familiar honey-coloured liquid in the silver container.
They talked for a short while. There was so very little to say. A lifetime had taught them both that it was infinitely easier to just agree with each other.
The village children had teased him mercilessly as he grew.
Your mother is masuku. You eat masuku. Masuku boy. Masuku boy…
She found herself alone and rearing her son, sidelined because of her determination not to marry.
He learnt soon enough that they laughed even more when he cried, and so found his retreat in a voracious appetite for reading. It did not surprise his teachers when he wound up the highest scorer in the district, after the public school leavers’ exam, with the choice of any college in the country.
As he finally waved her off from the front doors of the bank, a regular customer approached him.
‘Mr. Kalaluka, is she one of your customers?’
‘Yes,’ Joel smiled. ‘Do you know her?’
‘Of course, doesn’t everybody? She’s the biggest producer of wine in the country. Runs that farm a few kilometers out of town.’
‘Taught me everything I know about investment.’ Joel said, slapping his customer on the back.
‘Smart lady,’ continued the customer. ‘Who would have thought that a little village girl could have seen so far into the future?’
He left the customer still muttering to himself and stepped back into his office. Taking a polished glass from the wooden counter he poured the fresh fruit juice into a glass, and turned back to his work.
 

Monday

Something Lit’rary This Way Comes…


Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and legends. This seemed like a good idea last week Wednesday, so, psh, we’re kind of sticking with it.

To paraphrase a line from a great song, this web-page exists because it’s possible you’re a writer and you just don’t know what to do with yourself. If you’ve got anything that even faintly resembles a short-story – a love-letter, a shopping list, the first chapter of (gasp) a novel – written down on anything – a ply of tissue, a receipt, or (gasp) a notepad – bring it here.

We’ve already got important people watching your feedback, at Nkhani Kulture magazine for instance, and heck, we interact with big fat companies every day. Unfortunately we can’t take any poetry, unless it’s hidden inside a short-story, and also we’d rather you brought your own damn pictures. Any further questions (see clever e-mail address, up top) may be directed to the talking Christmas tree in our office.

Now let’s go eat some legends.

Tuesday

The Stars, The Stripes & Nancy.

Chuck Englund is a chronically depressed writer doing abominable things to your favourite fairy-tales: charming princes are killing damsels mindlessly, Alice is snorting her way down rabbit-holes, and witches are dating each other, and voting. He's convinced the most tripping novel ever will be on shelves in time for Christmas; in the meantime, Tim, 30s, Invincible is a charming collection of short stories. Here's one.


 
It’s becoming a bad cliché how the clincher for a little high school romance always seems to be hovering around in gym class. Ahmed, who feels he changes high schools the way other kids change underwear, felt like such an indie flick when he realized his butterflies had made him a part of the machine. And by indie flick I mean the kind you could probably produce with ten bucks, a tube of glue and some lint.
 Pete Hooper, who became Ahmed’s best friend at Winn in Sacramento, said his incontinence had made it possible for him to say he’d seen the inside of every men’s room in the city. It wasn’t so bad if he didn’t think about it. But if the greatness of sports stars was in their stats, it should’ve meant something that there wasn’t a urinal he hadn’t peed in. 
 It was Ahmed’s first day in school and Pete’s gazillionth time on the flag-pole. Ahmed had made his way towards the car-park at recess because there was no mandate for small-talk there. He had a Hershey’s bar and was looking forward to the sounds of his own ingestion, when he noticed the stars and the stripes had themselves arms and legs. 
 Little Pete Hooper, as he would duly introduce himself, was taking a piss on Winn’s front lawn, and pretty darn tidily from that high up. Ahmed asked the kid in glasses, it was amazing they were still up there with him, Ahmed asked him if he was okay. Pete said it was actually kinda calming after a couple of hours, after a good gazillion hoistings. When Ahmed offered to bring him down, Pete advised against it unless he wanted to get his ass beat by the eleventh-graders, which was partly why the teaching staff hadn’t done anything about it. Also if it didn’t hurt much or make you bleed, then it was like a tradition at Winn. 
 The world according to Pete Hooper, and really there was no second-guessing the view. He said it was a shortcoming of society, God Almighty, that there wasn’t a Hall of Fame for a gig like this. Ahmed thought that was funny, and said he’d stick around a while if Pete promised not to piss on him. 
 The faculty was soon alerted by anonymous tip-off, to the medical condition of a certain incontinent eighth-grader. Pete’s oppressors figured his new best friend offered an automatic replacement, and meant it when they assured Ahmed it wasn’t because he was Arab. Pete and Ahmed, thus, spent Friday mornings plotting the extinction of flag-poles – ‘til one day one of them changed schools again.
Ahmed spent his ninth grade in three different high schools in or around San Francisco because his father’s work moved the family around like that. He felt obliged to accept people looked at him differently not because he was a calculated geek, but because of things they saw on the news, and the fact that nobody called Mohammed starred in any of the biodegradable sitcoms his dad had taken to watching on weekends. So he walked around each new hall asking kids roughly his size or less if they knew of anyone that needed a
square to ridicule or generally humiliate. At the time it had seemed like a nifty way to go about making friends.
 Sandy Markum was Ahmed’s right-hand man at the Rift Pacific in Berkeley, but he was no Pete Hooper. His bladder didn’t need any plumbing and his taste for underdogs was average. Sandy was too much of a realist, always urging caution and reminding Ahmed of their place when there was fire in the wind. Little Pete Hooper’s mom liked to say if her boy grew into a quarterback he’d be throwing Hail Mary’s all over the place – ‘cause Pete, humble-boned as he was, was a go-getter. Sandy Markum was such a Darwinist for his age, that the whole concept of an asteroid like Nancy Kellerman crash-landing in anybody’s world, even Ahmed’s, passed him by.
 Mr. Cranston always gave her hell in Spanish class… Yeah, I know. It’s funny how the whitest guys in the room find themselves teaching Spanish class – and it’s hilarious that every time somebody hits Ahmed’s Facebook page, they’re OMGing how cool it must be to go to school in Hawaii.
 Ahmed liked that Nancy’s Spanish test-scores were regularly dismal, because that meant she was either from out of town or sheltered. (There wasn’t the slightest chance, of course, that this angel was an air-head.) He actually hoped her folks were unreasonably protective of her, or raised their eyebrows at the thought of her dating ethnic boys. Ahmed wanted to do the moon-walk on the edge for once.
 Rounded up, she was the classic C+ student, certainly pretty enough to get through life without ever having to ride the bus or design a resume. He liked her nose, how small and rabbit-like it was, and her hair being as clueless as anybody on the subject of whether she was a redhead or a brunette. History bored her really quickly, and Ahmed had to multi-task just to watch her slender arms stretch down her desk. The nails on those gorgeous spiders she called hands were painted different colors, as if auditioning for a part in a Coke ad’, and they dwindled all throughout Miss Stringer’s imprisonment of her senses, twitching as if all the life in her was ebbing out of them last.
 Her gym-tee was sleeveless so it brought her wings out best, that slow journey you took from her shoulders and down her arms to her fingertips in a beat-up rental car.
 She was still the new girl when one blissful morning in the cafeteria he spilt her milk all over her tray. Just minutes after accepting his apology, she was on top of a table doing a competent air-guitar impression of Wally Irish from Drinks On Johnny for her best friend Christy, who was an Emo. Nancy’d been trying to express her opinion that Drinks On Johnny were a bunch of douche-bags; coincidentally, Ahmed thought so too.
 Sandy Markum also saw the whole thing, and took his mouth off the straw in a juicebox to tell Ahmed he’d be better off asking out a girl like Susie Winkleman. Like most good people, Sandy argued, she was covered in freckles, but hey. Ahmed was barely listening.
 By the end of the day, a dozen guys, lacrosse ass-holes and such, claimed to have her phone-number, and Ahmed just couldn’t make a move. Somebody was always giving her a ride home or someplace so she didn’t need a car. Ahmed always wondered where she went, when she and Chad, Chad was alright, leapt like rock-stars into Mike the Ass-Kicker’s old
convertible, or when she rode shotgun in Christy’s mom’s Panda. (Ahmed knew all of the other cars, but not all of the other people.) Blow-jobs and the mall, guessed Sandy Markum, but Nancy looked like shopping bored her quickly, and her mouth just wasn’t made for those kinds of popsicles.
 Ahmed goes home in the family panel-van. It’s like the Mystery Machine with more windows but no psychedelic colors or Scooby Doo. The Goth-kids get to witness his glorious exit ‘cause they’re always around after hours making pot-plans, but he thanks God Allah Nancy’s never heard the exhaust pop, or seen his folks receive him like thank God Allah he’s survived another day.
 Ahmed’s dad asks him the same pedantic questions about his day and Ahmed gives him the same pedantic answers. One day he’ll look back and wish he’d involved himself more in those punctual evening conversations over the dashboard, sourcing supplies for the restaurant his mom ran, and it won’t matter what was happening to some investment bank in New York. Just like it didn’t then.
 A cop slows down Mr. Azziz near the intersection and gets him to pull over. He can’t have been speeding ‘cause as a motorist he has no grasp of suicide. It’s possible his number-plate fell off ‘cause it’s been hanging in there like a milk-tooth lately, or maybe the fender’s made a bid for freedom and it’s been dragging along the tar for some attention. Or maybe Mr. Azziz simply happens to be Arab.
 Ahmed doesn’t notice the police-officer patting his dad down for Lord knows what, not really, ‘cause in his mind Nancy’s bigger than King Kong and she’s tearing up every skyscraper in the city.
 And then Lehman Brothers failed.